Beyond tribalism…
Someone once felt slighted that I used the term ‘Tribe’ when it came to addressing a group of people with a collective ideology. I would like to stand my ground though. That is what a tribe actually means.
The Britannica definition of tribe is; Tribe in anthropology: A notional form of human social organization based on a set of smaller groups having temporary or permanent political integration and defined by traditions of common descent, language , culture and ideology.
The word in some part of 20th century, fell out of favor as some scholars felt the term to be pejorative. As per Wikipedia, with a negative connotation and in a political context, tribalism can also mean discriminatory behavior or attitudes towards outgroups based on in group loyalty.
Now, why am I saying all this? The reason being that I belonged nowhere for the longest time. Not lobbying for sympathy points here, but belonging to a collective mold comes with its advantages and not belonging comes with objectivity instead.
Belonging comes with a feeling of oneness and fall back and contingency options. Not belonging trains you to see the good in every person because that is your only way forward. It does not mean that every person you try to see the good in will return the favor because for the reasons mentioned above, they are already set in the ways of their tribe.
Tribalism once upon a time taught people to fend for their social group at the cost of others. When tribes migrated in earlier days and met with a different tribe that looked different and behaved different, their survival instincts kicked in. They didn’t go forth and extend an olive branch, but instead battled it out until the winner survived.
So is the case with animals who fight for territory and retaining their status in the tribe. When a new Alpha male enters the tribe, the old and the new fight each other until one flees and the other exerts his supremacy. Not trying to be condescending here, but bringing to light the parallels between our contemporary behavior and our archaic ancestors.
What pray is the difference between humans who have lost objectivity and the yester year tribes? Even today, people will defend every action of their tribe irrespective of lies, deceit, crimes and debauchery and will ostracize and attack one in the opposite clan or simply one not in theirs.
My point is, you could have a collective ideology and still retain objectivity. That is why I always say, “Call out the mistakes of your own tribe.” Nobody is above it. Unless, they are not mistakes but deliberately executed offenses in which case then, do not get offended about being labelled ‘tribal’.
As I mentioned earlier, I did not belong anywhere for the longest time. Freelancing in life as you could call it. My support largely depended on the ones who chose to be kind to me. Someone did always have my back as in I haven’t kicked my bucket yet. Hence, today I have friends beyond the fences of collectivism.
I may not be one with the ideology of their tribe, some may even have a bone to pick with me for no good reason but only because someone told them so. Vengeance for your imagined hypothetical reasons is not cool. We are all pitted against each other whether we like it or not. That’s how the game of life is played. It’s nobody’s fault. Either way some enmities have stood the test of time and certain friendships too have weathered that same enmity.
I am friends with some of them though I have had people caution me against the idea. However, these were friendships that were forged when we were little kids when stuff like this didn’t matter and innocence meant something. So is the case with some others. I may not approve of everybody in their tribe, but I do love and respect my friends and our friendship, and I hope my friends can see it that way too.
When we do catch up, I hope we can keep the camaraderie beyond these tribal restrictions and just be there for one another in our personal capacity fully knowing the fact that the rest of them on either side probably dislike us. I think this quality is also important in certain other arenas like the workplace, peace negotiations, working for the collective good etc. That I suppose comes with mutual respect, when you can see a person for what they truly are apart from whom they stand along with for the sake of their convenience or because they have to.
