Up…ma in the air…
I flew Indigo yet again. Call it a necessary evil. On my way to Indonesia for a very short vacation, I had taken a protracted course. I hopped flights from India to Sri Lanka to Malaysia to Bali. Why? Because yours truly had planned the whole trip from start to finish and was determined to prove to her parents that this could be done on a budget.
My father had his doubts about Sri Lankan airlines considering their economy isn’t in a great shape. Well, hold your horses because those guys gave an impeccable service. It was a lesson in hospitality that many of our own airline staff can take notes on. Also, a shout out to their customer helpline. One of the very few helpful helplines I have come across.
The term unhelpful helpline sounds like an oxymoron but with my experience with certain morons, that’s the norm where I come from rather than an exception.
The Malaysian airline staff were kindness personified in every respect. From fast tracking our boarding, giving flawless directions to us running helter skelter in a maze of an airport, changing terminals, re-routing our way if we went astray to making sure we got that flight in a scarce one hour international layover, they went above and beyond. Though I had my contingency plans in place, our Gujju( slang for Gujratis) brethren taking the same flight were super cool. They had never even given a thought to the one hour short layover, had no clue about transit visas, but were pushing their luck with the airlines anyway. They did make it too, puffing and panting as the boarding gates were closing.
I was more at ease on my return journey since it would be a direct flight to India, but the comfort was short lived because you can always trust our home grown airlines to screw up the experience for you.
From having horrendous options in their in flight menu limited to Dal Chawal(rice and lentils), Upma(semolina cooked with spices), Poha(spiced rice flakes)and Maggi noodles which most people do not wish to have on a regular day or on their domestic flight, these guys have the extreme over confidence to pull off the same menu on an international one. I could make an exception with Dal Chawal though since I was craving for Indian food after a week of Soto ayams, Satays and Nasi Gorengs. They are yummy but nothing can replace the warmth of homely dal chawal. I am sure Indonesians would feel the same about their cuisine if they visited us. We have our ‘bursting with flavor and spice’ masalas while they have their subtle peppers and galangal. Our taste buds are simply wired differently.
Needless to say Indigo didn’t have basic dal chawal although I was seated at the very front. Upma had to be checked for availability, so did Poha. This is after they advertise about serving in flight meals and also take payment for the same. That was when I slightly lost my cool. Trust me, hypoglycemia on a 6 hour long flight while you have already arrived 3 hours early at the airport thus totaling the ordeal to 9 long hours isn’t pleasant by any means. Also, for some odd reason I am always hypoglycemic on an Indigo flight. I am sure I have lost a few million brain cells by now.
So, I finally got what I asked for. A ready to eat instant upma which by the way has a 6 month expiry date but for some reason nobody bothers to board those ‘no one ready to eat’ semolina boxes on the flight. Our Gujju neighbors were stuffing themselves with home made preserved theplas( spiced flat bread)and farsan( muntries). When I mentioned this to my friend, she very categorically told me to always carry food from home while flying since many of the airline caterers had questionable hygiene.
I understand that serving a decent in flight meal comes with its cost. You need a well equipped kitchen, good caterers, transportation under hygienic conditions etc. I also understand that running an airline isn’t a profitable business and I am proud that an Indian airline is doing well. However, you are carrying people not cargo. You are also running a hospitality industry and you are obliged to provide services befitting such. You have no business advertising for what you cannot provide. On the other hand if you make clear your shortcomings on the itinerary, we flyers could be better prepared next time.
I would any day prefer the plane hopping protracted ride. Now I realize why NRI’s do not wish to return to their homeland. I understand why they bicker and bitch about the services they get here every time they come home for a short stay. It is for good reason. When I first heard of Indigo’s profit making strategies, I thought it was ingenious. However, cost cutting on everything won’t help with the flyer experience. As much as I love my country and want to see an Indian airline reach international heights, serving or rather refusing to serve even Upma in the air won’t do it.
